


Weak Knees and Wild Hearts

by 4Kennedy



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, SanversWeek, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 12:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11253048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4Kennedy/pseuds/4Kennedy
Summary: #SanversWeek Day 3 -  "You're drunk"Alex has too much to drink, Maggie tries to be a good friend while we all know that these two idiots are madly in love with each other.





	Weak Knees and Wild Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Swan_Secrets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swan_Secrets/gifts).



> Huge thank you to my wonderful betareader lanalucy.

M’gann calls her.  
  
Of course, M’gann calls her, because it’s her fault. She’s the reason Alex Danvers is heartbroken, is out but not yet proud, that she seeks comfort in alcohol. Her fault, her fault and her fault alone.  
  
“She needs you, “is all M’gann says as soon as Maggie picks up.    
  
“I’m on my way." She ends the call, grabs her car keys and leather jacket. “I’m heading out,“ Maggie informs her partner, who sits at a desk across from hers. He simply nods without looking up. For a moment Maggie wonders why the chief even bothers to team her up with a new partner every now and then. She’s sure it won’t take this one two weeks to put in for transfer. The one before him didn’t even last three days. Maggie Sawyer doesn’t do well with partners. What Maggie Sawyer does well is destroy any kind of relationship she has, push people and feelings away when they threaten to get too close.  
  
Alex. She must focus on Alex. Because Alex needs her and it’s her fault Alex is in this situation in the first place. So, Maggie slides in behind the wheel, starts the ignition, and fires up the sirens. No time to waste with speed limits and red lights.  
  
The password at the door to the dive bar hasn’t changed. Hasn’t changed since Maggie had taken Alex here for the first time, or since they’d met for beer and pool. Hasn’t changed since Alex had confessed that maybe Maggie was right about her, or since Alex had pulled Maggie in for a kiss after she’d come out to her sister. Maggie’s stomach does summersaults as she thinks about that kiss; Alex’s hands on her face, lips bravely claiming hers. Her knees had gone weak and her heart had gone wild. Her stomach plummets, though, as she thinks about what came after. The tears in Alex’s eyes, the cracking of her voice when Maggie tries to let her down gently and ends up shattering Alex’s heart into a million tiny pieces anyway. Way more often than she cares to admit, Maggie Sawyer does the hurting, afraid that otherwise she might be the one who’ll get hurt in the end.  
  
“Sawyer!“ M’gann waves her over to the bar, towel over one shoulder and a somber expression on her features.  
  
“Hey,“ Maggie greets her. “Where is she?“  
  
M’gann regards her, knows and feels what’s on Maggie’s mind, what’s in her heart. Maggie tries not to squirm under her friend’s gaze. It isn’t judging but understanding, which doesn’t make it any better. “Just be there for her as a friend, like you promised.“ A short squeeze of her hand follows and a smile that says more than words.  
  
“She made it pretty clear to me that we’re not friends.“ Her heart stings at the thought. They weren’t friends, because there’d been flirting, consciously and unconsciously. Because they’d gotten close, because there were feelings involved, scary and exhilarating ones. Because friends don’t kiss each other like that.  
  
“Doesn’t change the fact that she needs one,“ M’gann places a large glass of water on the counter and points to where Alex is sitting, in a dark corner, a bottle of whiskey and a tumbler in front of her. “She could’ve chosen to get drunk by herself in her apartment or anywhere else. But of all the places, she decided to come here. Why do you think that is?“  
  
“Because she’s just as sadomasochistic as I am.“ Maggie masks it as a joke, though they both know there’s much truth to that statement. It’s often that Maggie’s convinced she deserves all the pain and hurtful words, so she welcomes it, dives into it and makes it a part of who she is.  
  
M’gann quirks an eyebrow with a pointed stare.  
  
Maggie raises her hands in surrender. “All right, gotta go save a baby gay.“ She steels herself for the confrontation which is about to happen, takes the glass, and heads over to where Alex is sitting. “Danvers,“ she says as a greeting and takes a seat opposite Alex. “Maybe it’s time to call it a night?“ It’s said with gentle concern.  
  
Alex keeps staring at the empty tumbler in her hands, keeps rolling it between her fingers, keeps pretending she hasn’t heard Maggie for a couple of long moments. “What do you know?“  
  
“More than you think, Danvers.“ Maggie puts the water on the table, pushes the glass over. “For starters, that you’ve had enough whiskey for one evening.“  
  
Alex snorts and rolls her eyes, not looking at Maggie. “Not your problem, Sawyer.“  
  
The sad smile on Maggie’s lips goes unnoticed by Alex. “I also know that you’re hurt, Alex. But trying to numb the pain doesn’t make it go away. It doesn't make what happened or who you are any less real. I know you’re angry and disappointed. And you’ve every right to be… “  
  
“That’s rich coming from you,“ Alex interrupts her, lifting her gaze and looking at Maggie for the first time since her arrival. “Do you have any idea how humiliated I feel? What I went through? Still go through? Do you?“ There’s rage rolling off Alex in waves, filling the air between them with electric suspense. “Because as far as I can tell, I could be just another notch on your belt. Just another woman who make fell for you.“  
  
Instantly Maggie reaches over the table, tries to get a hold of one of Alex’s hands, but they’re withdrawn quickly. “No, Alex, no, that’s not… that’s not what you are to me. Far from it,“ Maggie assures her, shocked this is what Alex thinks of her. But with a little consideration, Maggie can’t blame her for assuming it. She can imagine how her behavior must seem to Alex, can understand she wants to believe Maggie is a tomboy, can relate how it’s easier to focus on anger instead of pain. She knows all too well about it, especially about the last part.  
  
“Oh yeah, is it? What am I to you then, huh?“ Alex challenges. She alternates between biting her bottom lip and chewing on the inside of her right cheek. Her grip on the tumbler is tight, knuckles turning white from the firm grip she has on it.  
  
It doesn’t come as a surprise to Maggie that Alex is an angry, sad drunk and not a funny, cute one. Experiencing it first-hand though makes her heart ache even more for the woman sitting across from her. “You’re drunk, Alex,“ Maggie evades the dangerous question. “And this isn’t a conversation we should be having with one of us intoxicated.“  
  
Alex growls in frustration. “What, you want me sober to tell me that you’re here for me as a friend? That you don’t date baby gays?“ Alex huffs and wipes at her eyes furiously. “I got the memo the first time, thanks.“  
  
“I’m sorry.“ The worst part is that Alex has no idea how hard it had been for Maggie to say these words to her back then. Sure, she was there for her as a friend and yeah, she wouldn’t date someone fresh off the boat. Because those things never work out and Maggie would really like it to work out. She wants to finally meet the one girl, the right one to spend the rest of her life with, to finally settle down. She fears more than anything that this girl might be Alex Danvers. It scares the shit right out of her. The risk seems too high that she’s just Alex’s coming out story, only the first woman before Alex decides she needs to move on, experience new and different things. Why should she settle for the first woman, when there’re so many others out there?  
  
“Sawyer! You still in there?“ Alex snaps her fingers in front of Maggie’s eyes.  
  
Maggie blinks, realizing she’d gotten lost in thought for moment. “Zoned out for a bit, sorry,“ she says, shrugging and pointing at the glass. “Drink the water, Danvers. And then I’ll drive you home. It’s getting late.“  
  
“You’re not responsible for me,“ Alex tells her, index finger pointing at Maggie. “I can take care of myself. I’ll call a cab or text my sister.“ A heavy sigh and then, “I don’t need your pity.“  
  
“God, Danvers, it’s not pity.“ Maggie feels her own anger rising up. It’s not aimed at Alex, though. It’s aimed at all the people who undermined this beautiful woman’s self-respect, which sadly - Maggie knows - includes herself. “I worry about you. I care about you. There’s a difference.“  
  
For a minute or so they just look at each other. Evaluating, trying to see behind the other's facade, behind the words. Alex’s eyes, which are red-rimmed and shining with tears, tell Maggie how scared she is and how vulnerable she feels. Maybe Maggie's eyes tell Alex the exact same thing; it wouldn’t surprise her. “Please, drink some water.“  
  
“Just because I’m thirsty and not because you say so,“ Alex clarifies before she takes the glass and starts drinking in huge gulps.  
  
“Sure.“ Maggie smiles, some of the tension finally leaving her as the atmosphere between them eases off. She’s content to simply watch Alex drain the whole water. “Good girl,“ she praises and tilts her head questioningly to the side when Alex blushes.  
  
“I, uh... I’ll text Kara to, uh, to come pick me up,“ Alex stammers and fishes for her phone.  
  
“Yeah, okay.“ It’d be a lie if Maggie said she isn’t a bit disappointed. Getting Alex home safely, making sure she has painkillers and more water nearby and tucking her in; it has been on her mind. Like also maybe spending the night on Alex’s couch, just in case she’d need someone to hold her hair and rub her back while throwing up. Like also maybe spending more time with each other, having breakfast tomorrow morning, leaving the apartment together for work… A stupid fantasy bubble, Maggie realizes, that won’t come true. Alex deserves so much better than her.  
  
Alex gives up texting. Gives it up because apparently even with one eye squeezed shut, her nose scrunched, and her tongue poking out between her lips in concentration, the letters still won’t stand still. So she tries calling her sister instead and presses the phone to her ear. “Kara, hey. It’s me.“  
  
While Alex talks to her sister, Maggie takes the liberty of watching her unashamed. Drunken Alex Danvers can be more than angry after all. She’s adorable and awkward as well. “All set?“ Maggie asks when Alex puts her phone away.  
  
“Yes. Kara will be here in ten minutes. I’ll meet her outside.“ Alex places a couple of bills on the table and shrugs into her jacket.  
  
Maggie does the same. “Good.“ She stands beside the table, contemplating whether to offer Alex her arm - only for support of course - or if she’s overstepping a line.   
  
When Alex gets up, she sways. She tries to hold still with her arms outstretched before she sways some more. “I’m fine. I can do this,“ she tells Maggie. One tentative step is followed by another. Then suddenly Alex stumbles, trips over her own two feet and threatens to fall.  
  
“Whoa, Danvers.“ Maggie reacts instinctively and reaches out to her without a second thought. One arm sneaks around Alex’s lower back, hand gripping her waist, while the entire left half of her body molds against Alex’s right to steady her. “Come here. I’ve got you.“  
  
Alex pffts. “Yeah, right.“ The sarcasm in her voice is hurtful. Her body speaks a different language though. Throwing one arm over Maggie’s shoulders, she leans even more on the smaller detective.  
  
The sensations running through her every cell make Maggie speechless. All she can think about is how good this feels. God, it feels perfect. Their bodies this close, touching like this. Alex, warm and soft, hugging Maggie even tighter against her side. It’s torture, it’s bliss, and it’s ripping Maggie apart inside. “Let’s get you home,“ she says and they start walking like this.  
  
“I see you’ve got your hands full with this one,“ Darla says in passing, a tray with empty glasses balanced on one hand.   
  
Alex mumbles something unintelligible beside her. Maggie bets it wasn’t something nice, but says nothing to either one of them. She continues to guide Alex out of the bar and into the dark alley. The fresh air is wonderful, the coolness of the night good for Maggie’s overheated body. She sighs in relief.  
  
They take a couple of more steps, Kara not there yet, but Alex stops them. She turns, steps in front of Maggie and lets their foreheads meet. “Don’t you feel this?“ Alex wonders, whispers with their lips inches apart. “Is it really just me?“  
  
Of course, Maggie feels it. Of course, it’s not just Alex. Maggie’s heart beats in her throat, blood rushing in her ears. She’s tempted, so damn tempted to kiss Alex. To throw caution to the wind, to grab her, to taste her, to show her what she means to her, what she makes her feel. “Alex,“ Maggie says with a clear warning in her voice. “This is not the way. You’re drunk,“ she reminds them both, but not pulling away either. “You’re too important to me to screw this up… again.“  
  
“Why is this so difficult?“ Alex wants to know, tears in her voice, hands interlaced behind Maggie’s neck.  
  
_It’s called being in love, Danvers,_ is what Maggie thinks, but doesn’t dare to say it. Alex isn’t the only one for whom this is difficult. “Life’s not meant to be easy. Where’d be the fun in that?“ She can’t help herself, feels her lips getting dangerously close to Alex’s.  It’s hard to resist; Maggie wants to give in so badly.  
  
Someone clears their throat behind them. “Ahem!“  
  
“Kara!“ Alex immediately jumps back from Maggie, creating some distance between them. “You’re here… obviously…. to pick me up. Like we discussed. That’s great.“  
  
Kara crosses her arms in front of her chest, a skeptical look on her face which is directed at Maggie. “You sure? Looks more like I’m interrupting something.“  
  
“What? Pfft. No, no, no.“ Alex quickly denies. “We were just… Maggie was helping me, making sure I’d get home safely.“  
  
Not for the first time Maggie notices what a beautiful baby gay mess Alex Danvers is.  
  
“Right.“ Kara’s not convinced. “The safest she can be,“ she lets Maggie know, taking Alex’s hand into hers. “Good night, detective.“  
  
“Good night!“ Maggie shouts after them as Alex is being led away by her sister. “Take care.“  
  
Alex looks back over her shoulder, gives her a small wave and mouths a bye. Then the Danvers girls disappear around a corner.  
  
“Now I could use a drink,“ Maggie mutters to herself, decides to drive home and lose her cool there. Being only friends with Alex Danvers seems to be getting more and more impossible.  
  
The End  



End file.
